It was Monday afternoon and I decided to stay inside the library of our school since my next and last class will be at the evening and I have nowhere to go. This time gap of my MWF schedule is so suck. I have five hours interval before the next class. I did not choose this schedule. My planned schedule was very smooth that I thought that will happen but it has not. I don’t think I will be blaming myself for this what I did was right but there is nothing I can do to change the schedule now and my subjects are all majors and I have to follow that, despite that I don’t like. Yes, there has been a change to the schedule given to us during the enrollment period and it was so easy for them to say that it has been rescheduled. That is why i got a longer time to relax. Anyway, it has also advantages: I can make my assignments during the time and If we will be having productions that would be so useful. Somehow sometimes the time is so dragging.
While I was inside the library I noticed there is that plant I don’t know what plant is that but I think my grandmother knows it because she got a lot of plants and others I don’t know their name and species but that was before, before my grandfather died. After that, she goes away and rarely visits the house where my grandpa and she used to live before. Since then, no one maintains the house and her plants were already dead and gone. My grandma has her own life now and from what she told us, she lives in a boarding house that no one knows where but I don’t think she lives alone. Anyway, I just don’t know the name of the plant. It’s tall, skinny stem and has some yellow and green leaves.
It was not unusual for me to seeing plants inside the room cause our house and my grandpa’s house has also plants inside our house. A little time I asked myself, “Why would people use to place plants inside the house and room?” but then, I used to answer myself that maybe they are used for decoration. Another answer, plants could give oxygen to the people and that plants could carry the carbon dioxide that people release from the body. Thanks to my science teacher I still remember this stuff. But then I thought plants would also be needing sunlight for their process? Why would people place plants inside the room when it can’t reach sunlight? With this thinking, I have thought of things….
People are usually selfish, maybe naturally born selfish. They just want what’s good for them and not good for the others. Even we won’t admit it… it is so evident that a person himself needs to survive alone. I mean, that whatever other would help only himself can sustain his own life. There has been a lot of saying that even if you have others around you but you need time also for yourself. I believe in the saying goes “You alone” because despite the problems and what others would suggest to do, in the end it is you who will make a stand not the other, it is you who shape you and not the others. With this, it only tells that man born alone himself and he needs to survive and some ways he must be selfish in order to survive. I don’t mean to sound self-loathing or hating people and I am not forgetting the fact that I am also a person and a man. I also need to survive for my own sake and not for the other’s sake. Thus, I am also a naturally born selfish.
I also relate myself to the plant inside the room because… sometimes I feel like I am so lonely in spite the people like friends and family who are around me and there to support me. But, it seems like there is something lacking deep within me that I don’t know. I can’t still figure out. Like the plant inside the room it is alright when you see it but I know deep inside it is not, because there is something that it lacks and that is the sunlight. But who place himself inside that room? It is not the plant himself but the people or somebody placed that plant there. I can feel what plant’s feel… he needs to reach that sunlight and he needs to feel it. He wanted to get out from that place but he can’t because he knew that somebody would need him. He chose to stay inside despite it is unusual for him. He chose to give what he can give to other despite that they can’t give what he needs. He chose to let that thing be as is. He chose to sacrifice. I feel the plant inside the room I pity for him and I pity for myself for being the plant inside the room away from what I need.